My journey will begin starting next year, when I start the adoption process and actively trying to find a surrogate that is HIV positive. I don’t know where this journey will take me, and honestly I am still fearful, but I believe in facing fears head on and not cowering away from them.
Needless to say, I’ve had a few ups and down over the course of the past 16 years, but my daughter is the reason why I get out of bed every day. I consistently think about what I can do to improve her life and be there whenever she needs me.
I want a second chance with a new child of my own who I can raise and love throughout his whole life, living in the same city, and with lots of stability. I feel as though I’m in the right place, financially, mentally, and me and my girlfriend both love each other dearly.
My own fear and ignorance led me to believe that I wouldn’t be able to be able to have children and that I was unworthy of love. By educating myself about HIV, disclosing my status to trusted family members and friends and engaging with my community I learned the value of my own life.
Both moms of my kids identify as lesbians. I’m coparenting with my son’s mom, and I will be coparenting with my new baby’s mom, too.