I have been in counseling for over a year now. At first, I was very skeptical and let’s face it, defensive. No one wants to think they can’t handle the stuff in their lives on their own. I have been taking care of myself in that fashion since I was 14. I moved out at 16, had my first child at 18, the next one at 22, and from then on have been a mother.
Imagine waking up every day not knowing how long you’re going to be alive because you can’t even get a ride to the doctor for treatment. Now, on top of that, you have two children that depend on you.
I’m a son, a father, a grandfather, a brother, and I am HIV+.
As we are approaching Father’s Day, as a father of a beautiful daughter, I am especially grateful.
One thing I definitely have learned from Jaz, is we cannot control what love looks like or what package it comes in. I have also learned that her positive status doesn’t have to get in the way of us enjoying each other. There is so much I have learned about her journey into womanhood and I have been able to teach her the same about my path into my manhood. Before Jaz, I thought I knew what it was to be trans, but I have learned we all have much different journeys from person to person.
No more did I concentrate on men who only wanted me in the shadows and in the midnight hour. Luckie was teaching me that as a HIV+ trans woman of color I deserve to be love and treated with respect. We have been very successful with PrEP In our lives, it’s helped us maintain Luckie’s HIV- status. I hope by sharing our different love paths to each other, we can inform the community that love has no fear when it’s love leading the way.
We can finally be the family we wanted to be. There may be that little virus in our way, but at least it is controlled, and I know its possible to stay protected. I am now four months pregnant in a very healthy pregnancy. God has blessed us all!
Please understand, that living spiritual does not render useless the need to have a healthy physical life. You do not need only to hear a man of God declare ‘you are healed of HIV’ and be able to stop taking ARVs.
This is why I force myself to take my meds every day, to hang on to still be here for my kids. They may be adults now, but they still have a place in their lives where I fit in.