After a very brief visit at the Kaiser OB/GYN office in Oakland, CA, I left feeling frustrated, disappointed and uncared for. I was experiencing vaginal irritation and wanted to discuss a few personal sexual health concerns and inquire about PrEP. Unfortunately, my primary OB was unavailable, but what the hell, I decided to go in anyway. It was a simple, “where, how long, swab, test result will be back in a week, goodbye.” As the OB left the room, I sat there with a perplexed look on my face. Not only was she cold, unfriendly, and initiated no eye contact, she didn?t even glance at my intake form, which clearly stated that I was in a abusive relationship and concerned that my partner was sleeping with men on the ?DL?. ?This was clearly a missed opportunity.

I decided to reach out to my primary OB to discuss my previous visit and inquire about PrEP for the second time.?It was in that moment, it dawned on me that none of my OB/GYN Kaiser providers have ever asked me about my sexual practices and/or partners. I?m a Black woman with one sexual partner, with whom I have condomless sex. I don?t necessarily fit in the ?PrEP candidate” check boxes, which may be the case for other women who are unaware of their partners ?private? sexual encounters (with other men or women).

After asking my provider why I have never been asked about my sexual history/practices, her response was mind blowing: ?Well, we talked about birth control and the possibility of you having a baby three years ago…” As if sexual partners or practices do not change. Mind you, the entire communication between myself and my provider was via email. Not once did my OB pick-up the phone to call me, not even after becoming aware of my abusive relationship and suspicion of my partner?s risky sexual activity. Instead, she referred me to the Oakland Kaiser PrEP provider (NP Tobias), which was the best thing she could have done for me. He was overwhelmingly amazing. During this intense two hour visit, all my needs were met, questions answered, and I left feeling extremely empowered and in control of my sexual health. We also discussed ways in which I could talk about PrEP to my now ex-partner.

Although I?m an advocate for individuals being proactive in their health, providers have a responsibility to ensure that their patients? health care needs are met by conducting thorough health assessments. There is no excuse for not reviewing and addressing any issues listed on a patient intake form. These forms can be used to help providers have those uncomfortable conversations.

HIV for Black women continues to spike, and yet there is little to no knowledge about PrEP within this community.?Increasing awareness and knowledge about PrEP among Black?women has the potential to also reach closeted bisexual or gay Black men who are at elevated risk for HIV acquisition.

Reality check: had I not asked about PrEP, it would have never been offered to me.


Nikole is a 34-year-old Health Educator and Bay Area Native, who was born and raised in Alameda, CA.


Information and Resources from HIVE

As PrEP training and implementation roll out across the U.S., we are wondering how the 468,000 women who may benefit from PrEP are finding out about this new HIV prevention method, what they think about it, and what barriers remain. Applause for clinics who are routinely offering PrEP to women, including trans women. And applause for women who are thinking about what PrEP might be to them.

We are on a journey, learning and growing together. Want to share your #WheresMyPrEP story??Looking for a platform for your voice? Interested in helping others by sharing your story? We can work with you if you prefer to be anonymous. No professional writing skills necessary. Contact

See below for resources on PrEP.

New Study Shows PrEP is as Safe as Aspirin

Is PrEP Right for Me? A Guide for Women

Preventing HIV and Pregnancy

CDC PrEP Basics

Truvada Approval History

Beyond Compassion: Trauma Resources


?PrEP can cause side effects like nausea in some people, but these generally subside over time. No serious side effects have been observed, and these side effects aren?t life threatening.? ?


?PrEP allows a woman to control her own destiny by not having to rely on her partner?s behavior, his ability to take antiretroviral therapy, to have an undetectable viral load, to get tested. These benefits far outweigh the potential risks [of PrEP] for many women.? -Erika Aaron, CRNP, Drexel College of Medicine