Photo credit: lovethispic.com
My story started 8 years ago when my boyfriend found out he was HIV positive … it scared the hell out of us.. in fact, it kinda tore our relationship apart. He began to feel very insecure in the relationship and I began feeling very unsure in what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to leave him, especially at this time where he needed me… but I was scared to move on with him in the bedroom. I had a million questions running through my mind with no one to help answer them for me because this was all a big secret… Only his doctor knew about this, and with me being distant towards him, I didn’t make many appointments. He began getting very depressed, which made him angry, a lot of the times he was angry at me because I was not there for him like I really should have been. But only because I was scared. I didn’t know what to do… how to make him happy, how to make myself happy. It was a nightmare.
I researched many places online to educate myself or you can say: convince myself. And that is when I came across this website HIVE. It answered many questions for me. And I really enjoyed the stories of real families going through the same thing as me. I knew I was not alone. What I didn’t get answers for, I was able to ask, through the contact information. The ladies were very helpful and always checking in on me. This went on for years…. I mean 6-7 years.
I wanted more children for sure. I knew that and so did he. My boyfriend has also had a undetectable viral load for seven years as well. Reading articles after articles I had to convince myself that trying to conceive naturally was going to be safe. I even had a bottle of Truvada tablets but I didn’t really use them. We tried unprotected intercourse on days where I was ovulating. Within two months, I was pregnant. Right away I went for blood work and it came back negative. I was sooooo relieved. I continued to get checked every three months, too. I just finished my second set of blood work, and again: Negative. I am finally where I wanted to be: pregnant and negative. It took a lot of courage to get here, especially since I had no one to really talk to… actually it may be that was even better, since the average person does not know much about this type of situation, and would right away be against this whole thing and steer me away. But I am so happy I finally gained the courage to take this step. We can finally be the family we wanted to be. There may be that little virus in our way, but at least it is controlled, and I know it’s possible to stay protected. I am now four months pregnant in a very healthy pregnancy. God has blessed us all!